Friday, January 30, 2009

Thoughts on Dominance

For me it's all about control. The step when sub willingly surrenders all control to her Dom, is pretty much the headiest. Of course, things can get quite intense as the Dom and sub put this into practice. Step by step, as he instructs her, verbally or physically, and she obediently complies, she proves her commitment to submit to him, surrendering over and over again, and that is hot as hell.

I wouldn't want a slave, though. I don't get the hardcore lifestyle people who are into a full-time arrangement. It may seem inconsistent, but I don't think my Dominant desires are misogynistic or disrespectful. I see it as a completely two-way relationship, and cherish and care for her. I really believe in equal rights for everyone.

It follows that am I not into base humiliation or gratuitous pain. Some people seem to get off on making the sub miserable, and I just don't find that arousing. Sure, I enjoy calling my sub trashy names, and reminding her of how slutty she is behaving, etc, but only to the extent that she gets off on it. The image of her out in public with me, dressed to display her curvaceous beauty and wearing her collar so strangers can see our relationship might constitute a form of humiliation, but it's not base and disrespectful, and I hope that it would cause butterflies in her stomach, if not moistness in her crotch.

It's the same story with pain, really. When I know my sub is truly aroused by it, it's marvelous, but I'm no sadist, and wouldn't get any pleasure if I knew she was actually unhappy. Once we're in the moment, and she is clearly responding positively, exploring her limits is absolutely intoxicating.

The sub's sexual pleasure is another issue. While part of the thrill certainly comes from using her for his pleasure, for me, this is still about lovemaking, which is a two-way street. Therefore, her pleasure is indeed a major component. And after all, as I've discussed above, there are many aspects of her submission that she finds pleasurable. The thing is, I want to control her pleasure. My goal, in fact, is to arouse her as a far as possible, hopefully to levels she was unaware of, and to grant her release only when I decide it will be the best experience possible.


  1. So nice to read of your thoughtfulness.

  2. Why thank you. I am sincerely glad to hear you say that.